New Comedy Scripts UK - Love of the Dark

American Dream

Black Screen White writing:

Year 2008

INT: Modern family home with wooden floors and a leather couch with mum, dad, son and daughter. Their faces are glowing in the light of the 32" television that they are fixated on.

INT: On the TV

EXT: George Bush making a speech.

Bush: Dear Americans; we have now brought peace to Iraq. Our victory over terrorists is now one step closer. On the 4th of July I propose that America give one minutes silence to the troops that have made this day possible...

Black Screen White writing:

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK - Supplies are running low.

EXT: George Bush making a speech.

At the bottom of the screen a news flash scrolls across:

"Russia the country that has one of the largest oil reserve declares WAR on America"

Bush: Dear Americans, our tactical surveillance team have brought vital information to us that states without a doubt that Russia are plotting to take action against the American people. America will not stand down; we will unite and defeat this enemy..

Black Screen White writing:

2020

EXT: American Barracks with troops all marching across the main yard. Many flags are raised with the American bald headed eagle. All the troops stop and face the podium. George Bush is standing at the head of the podium about to make a speech.

Bush: Courageous troops of America. I am here today to tell you of a grave enemy who hates all we stand for and is ready to attack us. This country is .... Algeria.

Instead of sitting here waiting for war. LET US TAKE THE WAR TO THEM.

Bush holds his fist in the air.

All of the solders hold there left hand to their hearts and the other straight in the air with fists clenched.

There is a loud Uproar from the crowd.

Soldiers: FOR BUSH AND FOR AMERICA.

Drug Generator

A small thin boy of about 20 years old with dark messy hair and overgrown stubble strolls through the shop in a lethargic manner carrying a bin bag.

The boy (Andy) spits brown mucus on the floor then approaches the counter.

Andy looks at the assistant (Joe); then places the bag on the counter.

Joe has short spiky hair and has a well groomed beard. He walks over to the counter from the other side.

Joe: Well what have we here?

Andy pulls the content from the bag and reveals an iPod with match speaker set.

Andy then replies to the question in a monotone voice: Stereo

Joe looks at Andy with a scrutinising look, takes a step back. Then smiles and steps forward again.

Joe: Sorry there sir but we have too many of these in stock and I have been told from up high not to take anymore.

Andy's shoulders drop and he starts to shiver as his arms move closer to his body.

Andy: Please mate, I'm really short of money, I can even let you have it at a discount rate? Joe glances at the main office to the right then leans in towards Andy. Joe (whispers): right fella, I can only offer you 20 quid for it, and it my butt on the line here.

Andy is not impressed and steps back, then as if he thinks about it for a moment moves back to the counter.

In a very disapproving tone Andy replies: Oh ok then. Joe: Here ya go mate Joe slides a £20 note along the counter, Andy takes it and rushes out of the shop almost knocking a television over.

Joe watches him then rushes to the office.

In the large office in the window, Joe speaks to his heavy set boss and they both laugh together.

BLANK SCREEN

EXT: Shop

Joe is shutting up the shop and pulling down the shutters. Andy is lying next to the shop completely wasted on the floor next to e newspaper.

Newspaper headline:

BIG BROTHER 17 - Guantanamo Bay

Joes winks at Andy and walks of with a sinister grin.

Beware of thieves

EXT: On a street a young Italian man with dark hair and wearing a bright blue tracksuit; is moving his shoulders to the beat of the music from his white iPod.

Background fades to black, the iPod and headphones stay white and the silhouette of the man is bright blue. The silhouette becomes more and more involved on the music, now he is dancing on the street with his arms in the air.

From the left a purple hazed mans silhouette runs across to the young dancer. Extracts a Machete from his coat; chops off the dancers hand and runs off with his iPod with the earphones trailing behind.

The dancer is now on his knees on the floor with his severed hand in front of him.

A loud stamp sound BANG; As a stamp covers the screen:

DON'T ADVERTISE
TO THIEVES! ! !

Narrator in a deep voice: DON'T ADVERTISE TO THIEVES! ! !